BC BIRTHDAY
CRIMES CALENDAR INVESTIGATION BUREAU ACCEPTING CASES

FORM 00-B

OFFICIAL BIRTH DATE INTAKE

WHAT DID YOUR
BIRTHDAY DO?

Every date is guilty of something. Enter yours and we’ll pull the file.

LEGAL-ish NAME DATE OF INCIDENT

NO DATA STORED. WE HAVE ENOUGH PAPERWORK.

PERSONAL BIRTHDAY TRANSMISSION

SEND A BIRTHDAY
WARRANT.

Because “happy birthday 🎉” looks like you remembered three seconds ago.

BIRTHDAY SUSPECT DATE OF INCIDENT FILED BY OFFICIAL TONE

CREATES A PERSONAL LINK YOU CAN SEND TO THEM.

COPIED WITH THE LINK UNDERNEATH ✓

CALENDAR INVESTIGATION BUREAU CONFIDENTIAL / OBVIOUSLY

OFFICIAL RECORD

BIRTHDAY
ARREST REPORT

KW

SUBJECT: —
DATE OF INCIDENT: —
CASE NO.: —
BORN ON A: —

PRIMARY CHARGE

—

—

CALENDAR THREAT LEVEL

00%

POLITEMENACE

KNOWN ALIAS

—

BIRTHDAYS SURVIVED

—

NEXT OFFENSE IN

—

SENTENCE

—

THIS REPORT IS 0% LEGALLY BINDING
AND 100% CALENDAR ACCURATE.

FOUND
GUILTY

Birthday Crimes does not know you. Your birthday apparently does.

CALENDAR INVESTIGATION BUREAU DELIVER IMMEDIATELY / WITH CAKE

OFFICIAL BIRTHDAY WARRANT

ATTENTION,
—.

HB

—

SUBJECT: —
BIRTHDAY: —
WARRANT NO.: —
FILED BY: —

CHARGE SUSPENDED FOR TODAY

—

—

MANDATORY BIRTHDAY ORDERS

—

AUTHORIZED BY —

CLEARED
TO CELEBRATE

A better birthday message than the one you were about to send.